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Thank you for sharing your experience in such an honest and straightforward way. It is a real relief to get a dose of reality when everyone else out there seems to be either advocating it or demonizing it.
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— Leilani N.
You help more than you could possibly know.
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Through Thick and Thin #4 (August 26, 2002)
Preparing for My Weight Loss Surgery
or
Food As Fuel — Not Drama, Mama, Karma or Trauma!
Tomorrow is my long-awaited
and eagerly anticipated appointment with my doctor to decide which form of
weight loss surgery I will have, and to schedule the date. I'm excited, ready and anxious. Once I decided to have the surgery, I wanted
it over and done with immediately.
Patience has never been one of my character assetsJ But I've tried to put this mandatory waiting
period (a prudent "cooling off" period to prevent "buyer's remorse") to good
use, by doing what I can to prepare for my gastric bypass -- and my blessed deliverance from my
dysfunctional appetite regulator.
I've created this website and
my periodic newsletters. I've joined
several email groups to begin a dialogue with other folks who have had weight
loss surgery. I've sought out locals who
have had the procedure or who plan to. (I've been thrilled to find that we now
have enough WLS survivors, even in our small rural community at the "top left"
of the map, to create our own support group.) I've been walking as far as my body and pain
permits, most days of the week. I've
continued eating well and with care. I've even watched (and enjoyed, despite my
negative prejudgments) the recent movie "Shallow Hal", which deals with some
aspects of obesity. But most of all, I've
been doing a lot of thinking about this totally new concept of "food as fuel"
that I expect will dominate my post-surgery awareness and experience.
I'm totally intrigued, and deeply
challenged, by this notion: that with my
little, redesigned stomach pouch I'll just be eating food for nutrition, and to
sustain and fuel my body. Not for
all of the other reasons that I've always consumed and devoured excessive
amounts. You probably know the list: food
for comfort; food for solace; food for company; food for celebration; food for
ups or downs; food for the kinetic experience and satisfactions; food to quench
my insatiable appetite and fill my bottomless emotional pit; food to stop the emotional
pain; and food to literally stop the hunger pangs. Food has supplied so much of my life's drama, sometimes played
the role of a nurturing Mama, seemed to be an preordained part of my Karma, and
been the source of much of my life trauma.
For today, as I look forward
to my surgery, I like the idea of leaving this all behind. Of
being liberated from the burdens and perils of choice. I like the notion of liquid protein
drinks. Of eating small, regular portions
to fuel my body. Of
limiting, by gastric necessity, my sugar and fat consumption. Of letting go of all of the
emotional content and connotations of food.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm
a big fan and advocate of personal choice.
My belief is that I choose my attitude and my frame of reference; that I
control what I do with my hands, mouth and feet; and that I essentially create
my own experience and results by the choices I make and the attitudes I choose.
But when it comes to food, the abundance of choices can overwhelm, bewilder,
bedazzle, and ensnare me. For today, I
like the idea of removing food from its traditional emotional context, and just filling up
my pouch when and as I need it. Leaving my obsessions with tastes and textures behind, along with
my outsized body weight.
It feels essential to me to
make this mental and emotional switch before I have the surgery. Maybe I'll find that this is all
nonsense. Maybe I'll find myself
yearning for wider choices and for more room in my stomach. But I don't think so.
As I continue to envision a
new, thinner, fitter, healthier me, I'm preparing for my surgery and these
outcomes. And, for today, I'm fueled
with hope.
I'd welcome hearing from any of
you who can relate to my story, my sharing, or my musings.
Glenn
Click here to read another newsletter.
Click here if you have a “fruit and vegetable problem” to see if my solution (see Through Thick and Thin #19) will work for you.
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